Divorce can be a difficult time for the spouses involved. It can be not only financially draining, but it also takes a toll on emotions. Understanding the reasons behind the divorce helps the couple come through easier - but children usually have a much smaller grasp of the situation.

Children want their parents to stay together no matter what their home life has been like. They feel stress and confusion to see their parents arguing and finding suddenly one parent no longer lives in the home. Feelings of sadness, anger and frustration reign while they wonder what their future will be like.

Children want to feel protected and loved by their parents. They need to feel secure in their surroundings and the prospect of a divorce makes them think that security no longer exists. Sitting down with your children, showing them how much you do love them - will go a long way to help keep their feelings calm and secure.

Explain to them that even though the family is changing, everyone is going to be just fine. They can still love and be happy with both parents. Make the child feel they can still approach either parent with any questions and concerns they might have. Never bad talk the other parent to the child, this only undermines the child’s respect and love for that parent.

Children feel that their world is coming apart when parents divorce and you need to make sure they know you understand their feelings. Listen to them, talk to them - give them hugs and special times with you. If the child is having problems expressing themselves, help them by asking them if they know what is making them angry or upset.

Children fear being honest with parents. They feel they cannot express what they are truly feeling because it might anger the parent. Let them know that is not true - you are willing to listen to what they have to say and want to hear it. Most important of all, make sure they know you understand and acknowledge their feelings.

Keeping stability in the child’s life is important because the child needs to feel secure. Having one parent no longer living in the home and the fact of perhaps not seeing them every day is difficult for a child. Having a routine and a sense of order will go a long way to help the child feel calmer.

If the child is moving out the family home with one parent, make sure you keep the lines of communication open and let them know things will be fine. Maybe letting them stay in the same school will be an option.

Children have an ability to believe they are responsible for the problems in the home. They may even think they are the reason for the divorce. Let them know this is not the case - and even expect them to act out their anger.

One thing you should do once you divorce is not to argue with your spouse in front of the child. They tend to need to feel loyal to one parent over the other and you should not put them in that position.

It might be a good idea for the child to speak about their feelings to someone other than their parents. Third parties like a teacher, relative, family friend or even counselling can help the child recover.

Keep in tune to the child for signs of anger, sadness, anxiety, depression and even trauma and shock. Some children come through a divorce with few problems while others have extreme difficulty. If you find these are not lessening over time and even becoming worse, it’s time to get professional help. Watch for sleeping problems, poor concentration/poor grades, drug or alcohol abuse, self injury/cutting and even sexual promiscuity. The child is not progressing out of their grief and needs help over the crisis.

Keeping yourself in good health both physically and mentally will go a long way to help your child come through a divorce and even find happiness on the other side.