Are children from a divorced home worse off than children from an intact one? In most cases these children tend to be at least slightly worse off than those that came from two parent homes.

These children tend to have more behavioral problems due to the loss of one parent in the home, less stability even financial worries of the parents will affect the child. About 75% of children will oppose their parent’s divorce - preferring their parents stay together and somehow work out their problems. The other 15% are ones who watch their parents constant arguing and even violent outbursts and wish for the fighting to stop.

Children who have had to endure long custody battles are more likely to experience problems with depression, anxiety, anger, panic, low self esteem and even guilt or denial. These children are more likely to exhibit criminal behavior and be more destructive.

Depending on which parent gains custody of the child, it’s vitally important that both parents stay involved with their child’s life. Children need both parents for a rounded out existence. The less both parents and mainly the father play in that child’s life the more pronounced the psychological effects on the child will be. Problems will not only be with the child through their younger years, but also into their adulthood as well.

The child will behave differently depending on their age at the time of divorce. Although the effects will last them a lifetime - they should be able to overcome them. When a child is pre-school aged the child may become withdrawn, angry and you may not be able to please them. Sitting with them with both parents and calmly explaining in an age appropriate way as to why you are divorcing can help.

Older children including high school students might fantasize their parents will get back together and may work toward that goal. They may experiment with drugs and alcohol and withdraw from their friends. They may start to bully and fight with other children - as well as cheat, lie or even run away.

Not giving your child more responsibility can go a long way to help them overcome their grief. Many parents who are divorcing tend to take care of their own issues during this time and not pay attention to their children. The child may end up losing confidence in themselves, feeling they aren’t important to the parent anymore. Taking up the slack of the absent parent makes the child feel they are being helpful to the remaining one. The child needs to mourn the loss and not have to feel like they are the parent.

Being there for the child, making sure they feel secure and listened to can help the child not lose their own sense of identity. Many children feel like they have to be the caregiver and hold the remaining members of the family together. Having conversations with both parents in the home with your children can help them relieve the stress of a difficult situation.